Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Exfoliate.Rinse.Repeat as Necessary.

Thou shalt fight as a flower fighteth upwards through the stones to
flower in the sun at last...
D.H Lawrence

On this first day of spring Wikipedia tells me what to expect.
(Transition period. Rebirth, renewal and regrowth.)

Trina Paulas gives me hope.
(Caterpillar. More. Butterfly.)

And I feel ..well exfoliated.

Throughout this period much shedding seems to be occurring in many areas of my life...

Some of it by choice, some to my resistance and most for the better. I am always at battle with my skin. I will never be satisfied with the way it looks or the way I can't seem to conceal my flaws. So the chance of sanding it off for something better is more than appealing..and slightly irritating.

In Life I'm at the great layer(that I often get to before the burn) where I'm reading fantastic books, forgoing(some) tv for crafting, spending time with God and setting some plans in action. I don't really have many goals I've set in life which most people find shocking. I just always thought I was supposed to live and do what God led me to do. If I expected or planned anything I thought it would just fail. Though I can't tell you the origin of that thinking I can say its been nice..(seeing the world as wide open with chance) and limiting..(but how do I choose). On any given day I could agree to do missions and move away, start a retail store, get married, adopt kids, become a nun, write a novel or run for office. I know, you see that as perhaps indicative of a mental illness...but what I get from that is I'm not looking for happiness or purpose. I've got it, Thank God.What I do will never matter as much as who I am. I just need to get better aim(or gps).

I'm hoping this scrub down will be a bit more lasting than my other attempts. Removing tough, damaged skin makes me more sensitive, prone to being burned and I'm not comfortable that way...But I suppose if I wanted to be comfortable I would be a person that wears sweats or crocs...and that I would never do;)

1 comment:

  1. being able to sort of peek into your life here makes my heart so glad... i miss you, friend. it's fun to get little tidbits of you here. :)